What your coffee knew in May 2022
May 31
On this date in 1913, the 17th Amendment, providing for the popular election of U.S. Senators, went into effect.
Your coffee wants the best elections that money can buy.
May 30
Twelve people were trampled to death on the Brooklyn Bridge on this date in 1883.
Your coffee sees the danger inherent in fake news.
May 27
On this date in 1941, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt declared an “unlimited national emergency.”
Your coffee wants an anti-fascist fireplace.
May 26
Dred Scott, whose suit to obtain freedom from slavery was denied by the U.S. Supreme Court, was freed by his original owners on this date in 1857.
Your coffee wants a better Supreme Court.
May 25
On this date in 2018, Ireland voted to repeal the Eighth Amendment of its constitution, which prohibited abortion.
Your coffee wants bodily autonomy.
May 24
Amy Johnson became the first woman to fly solo from England to Australia on this date in 1930.
Your coffee wants to win the Darwin Award.
May 23
On this date in 1962, New York Yankee baseball player Joe Pepitone hit two home runs in one inning.
Your coffee wants a better bullpen.
May 20
The definition of the kilogram was redefined on this date in 2019.
Your coffee wants to walk the Planck.
May 19
On this date in 1926, Benito Mussolini announced that democracy was deceased.
Your coffee hopes the past isn’t prologue.
May 18
U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the act creating the Tennessee Valley Authority on this date in 1933.
Your coffee wants power—as well as fertilizer and forestry services.
May 17
On this date in 1536, King Henry VIII’s marriage to Anne Boleyn was annulled.
Your coffee wants an airtight pre-nup.
May 16
Sir Thomas More resigned as Lord Chancellor of England on this date in 1532.
Your coffee wants to live in a Utopia.
May 13
On this date in 1940, Winston Churchill made his first speech to the British House of Commons as Prime Minister.
Your coffee is brewed with blood, toil, tears, and sweat.
May 12
The ill-fated Donner Party of pioneers left Independence, Missouri for California on this date in 1846.
Your coffee wants to order take-out.
May 11
On this date in 1812, British Prime Minister Spencer Perceval was assassinated in the lobby of the House of Commons.
Your coffee wants a powdered wig and knee-breeches.
May 10
Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as South Africa’s first black president on this date in 1994.
Your coffee wants an African Doctor Who.
May 9
On this date in 2020, the COVID recession caused the U.S. unemployment rate to reach 14.9 percent.
Your coffee can’t hold down a job because it is always drunk.
May 6
The “Hitler Diaries” were revealed to be forgeries on this date in 1983.
Your coffee wants Hitler’s Day-Timers and his used Post-its.
May 5
On this date in 1945, the only lethal attack against the U.S. of a Japanese Fu-Go balloon bomb took place in southern Oregon.
Your coffee wants balloon animals, not bombs.
May 4
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was incorporated on this date in 1927.
Your coffee wants to add a no-slap clause to its articles of incorporation.
May 3
On this date in 1948, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that covenants prohibiting the sale of real estate to blacks and other minorities were legally unenforceable.
Your coffee wants to be your neighbor.
May 2
Anne Boleyn, Queen of England, was arrested and imprisoned on charges of adultery, incest, treason, and witchcraft on this date in 1536.
Your coffee prefers conscious uncoupling.