What your coffee knew in August 2021
August 31
On this date in 1943, the USS Harmon, the first U.S. Navy ship to be named after a Black person, was commissioned.
Your coffee wants to be served with honor in the officers’ mess.
August 30
Guion S. Bluford Jr. became the first Black American to travel in space on this date in 1983.
Your coffee wants to elevate everyone.
August 27
On this date in 2019, Bury F.C. was expelled from the English Football League.
Your coffee wants to see a match between Bury and AFC Richmond.
August 26
The first Ford Edsel rolled off the assembly line on this date in 1957.
Your coffee wants to get all up in your vertical grille.
August 25
On this date in 1944, the Allies liberated Paris from the Nazi occupation.
Your coffee wants a double-order of Freedom Fries.
August 24
Cincinnati Reds baseball star Pete Rose was banned for life by Major League Baseball on this date in 1989.
Your coffee wants to know the over/under on how many more years it will be before the ban is rescinded.
August 23
On this date in 1975, the Pontiac Silverdome opened in Michigan.
Your coffee once attended a concert in the North Hollywood Stuccodome.
August 20
President Andrew Johnson officially declared that the Civil War was over on this date in 1866.
Your coffee wants a civil peace.
August 19
On this date in 1848, the New York Herald announced the discovery of gold in California.
Your coffee wants a gold mesh coffee filter.
August 18
The first Mongol Emperor, Genghis Khan, died on this date in 1227.
Your coffee wants to visit his memorial shrine on Ceti Alpha 5.
August 17
On this date in 1498, Cesare Borgia became the first person in history to resign the cardinalate.
Your coffee wants a severance package with a complimentary cassock.
August 16
The Monkees’ first single “Last Train to Clarksville” was released on this date in 1966.
Your coffee wants to come and watch them sing and play.
August 13
On this date in 1961, East Germany began construction of the Berlin Wall.
Your coffee wants to replace iron curtains with aluminum venetian blinds.
August 12
On this date in 1964, for a record-setting tenth time in his career, Mickey Mantle hit home runs from each side of the plate in the same game.
Your coffee says it’s okay for you to sip from either side of the cup.
August 11
The Mesoamerican Long Count calendar began with the creation of the world on this date in 3114 B.C.
Your coffee wants to set three medium-roast beans to center the cosmos and allow the sky to be raised, revealing the sun.
August 10
On this date in 1948, “Candid Camera” made its television debut.
Your coffee wants you to smile: you’re on Candid Surveillance Cam!
August 9
The Free Soil Party nominated Martin Van Buren for President on this date in 1848.
Your coffee is not free but it was ground this morning.
August 6
On this date in 1996, the Ramones played their final concert.
Your coffee wants Paul McCartney’s autograph.
August 5
Following an 8-0 Supreme Court ruling, President Richard Nixon released the tapes of 42 White House conversations on this date in 1974.
Your coffee claims that free refills constitute an executive privilege.
August 4
On this date in 1790, the United States Congress established the Revenue Cutter Service as an armed customs enforcement service.
Your coffee wants duty-free beans and a ticket to “Hamilton.”
August 3
The American Dental Association was founded in Niagara Falls on this date in 1859.
Your coffee wants an autographed photo of Dudley the Dinosaur.
August 2
On this date in 1791, Samuel Briggs and Samuel Briggs, Jr. received the first patent assigned to a father-son team.
Your coffee wants hand-crafted press-on nails.