What your coffee knew in December 2019.
December 31
On this date in 1983, Benjamin Ward became New York City’s first black police commissioner.
Your coffee wants to watch a very special episode of “Black and Blue Bloods.”
December 30
Bo Diddley was born on this date in 1928.
Your coffee weighs sixteen tons.
December 27
On this date in 1978, Spain became a democracy after forty years of fascist dictatorship.
Your coffee thinks three years of fascism is more than enough for this country.
December 26
President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a Congressional joint resolution establishing Thanksgiving as the fourth Thursday in November on this date in 1941.
Your coffee wants gravy and a reduction in presidential paperwork.
December 25
On this date in 1013, Danish invader Sweyn Forkbeard was proclaimed King of England.
Your coffee wants to unpair a Bluetooth device.
December 24
The original Ku Klux Klan was founded on this date in 1865.
Your coffee wants to baffle public curiosity.
December 23
On this date in 1815, Emma by Jane Austen was published
Your coffee wants to be handsome, clever, and rich.
December 20
The world’s first website went live on this date in 1990.
Your coffee wants to mirror it on a Mac mini.
December 19
On this date in 1995, the U.S. government restored federal recognition to the Nottawaseppi Huron Band of Potawatomi.
Your coffee wants to cure snakebite.
December 18
Kellingley Colliery, the last deep coal mine in Great Britain, was closed on this date in 2015.
Your coffee wants to carry a clinker to Newcastle.
December 17
On this date in 1892, the first issue of Vogue was published.
Your coffee wants to attract a débutante sage.
December 16
The Second Vatican Council finally revoked the Edict on the Expulsion of Jews from Spain on this date in 1968.
Your coffee wants to see the arc of the moral universe bend toward justice a little faster.
December 13
On this date in 1769, Reverend Eleazar Wheelock founded Dartmouth College.
Your coffee wants a miniature ivy.
December 12
Harvard professor and dentist Dr. George F. Grant received a patent for the wooden golf tee on this date in 1899.
Your coffee wants a mashie niblick.
December 11
On this date in 1964, Che Guevara spoke before the United Nations General Assembly.
Your coffee needs an allen wrench to finish the assembly.
December 10
King Edward VIII of England signed the Instrument of Abdication on this date in 1936.
Your coffee wants an a cappella abdication.
December 9
On this date in 1996, Gwen Jacob was acquitted of indecency for appearing topless in public in Ontario, Canada.
Your coffee wants a bottomless cup.
December 6
The Vanguard Test Vehicle 3 exploded on the launch pad on this date in 1957.
Your coffee wants to lift you higher than 4 feet.
December 5
On this date in 1998, James P. Hoffa, son of the union’s former leader, was elected General President of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters.
Your coffee wants to be digitally de-aged by Martin Scorsese.