What your coffee knew in August 2019.
August 30
On this date in 1993, “The Late Show with David Letterman” premiered on CBS-TV.
Your coffee wants to wear world-wide pants.
August 29
Nuuk, the capital city of Greenland, was founded on this date in 1728.
Your coffee wants to sell a fake deed for it to a presidential real-estate speculator.
August 28
On this date in 1996, Britain’s Prince Charles and Princess Diana received their final divorce decree.
Your coffee wants a fairytale divorce.
August 27
Paul Reubens, better known as “Pee-wee Herman,” was born on this date in 1952.
Your coffee wants to have a big adventure.
August 26
On this date in 1970, the nationwide Women’s Strike for Equality took place.
Your coffee wants free abortion on demand, equal opportunity in the workforce, and free childcare.
August 23
The “Salad Bowl Strike,” organized in part by César Chávez, began on this date in 1970.
Your coffee wants to have the dressing served on the side.
August 22
On this date in 2006, Grigori Perelman was awarded the Fields Medal for his proof of the Poincaré conjecture.
Your coffee wants to be served in a closed 3-manifold.
August 21
Patsy Cline recorded her vocal track to Willie Nelson’s song “Crazy” on this date in 1961.
Your coffee is crazy for feelin’ so blue mountain.
August 20
On this date in 1945, 17-year-old Tommy “Buckshot” Brown of the Brooklyn Dodgers became the youngest major league baseball player to hit a home run.
Your coffee wants to make sure he reaches home before curfew on school nights.
August 19
The Cypress Island Atlantic Salmon Pen Break took place on this date in 2017.
Your coffee believes the salmon farm should have employed sturdier lox.
August 16
On this date in 1328, the House of Gonzaga seized power in the Duchy of Mantua.
Your coffee wants to sing “La donna è mobile” during halftime at a Gonzaga Bulldogs football game.
August 15
North Korea established Pyongyang time by setting its clocks back half an hour on this date in 2015.
Your coffee wants to know: does anybody really know what time it is?
August 14
On this date in 1959, the American Football League held its first league meeting.
Your coffee wants season tickets for the Los Angeles…um, San Diego…um, Los Angeles Chargers.
August 13
The French National Tribunal arrested King Louis XVI and declared him an “enemy of the people” on this date in 1792.
Your coffee wants a luxury suite in the Tour du Temple.
August 12
On this date in 1964, South Africa was banned from the Olympic Games because of the Republic’s racist policies.
Your coffee wants to medal in the 1500-meter boycott.
August 9
Singapore became the first nation to gain independence unwillingly on this date in 1965.
Your coffee wants to live in its parents’ basement while it establishes economic independence.
August 8
On this date in 1899, Albert T. Marshall received the first U.S. patent for a refrigerator.
Your coffee wants to know how long that container of leftovers has been sitting on the lower shelf shelf in the back.
August 7
The Viking 2 space probe entered Mars orbit on this date in 1976.
Your coffee wants to find a good parking place.
August 6
On this date in 1930, Judge Crater, a New York State Supreme Court Justice, disappeared and was never seen again.
Your coffee wants to fill a hole in the judiciary.
August 5
Juno, the first solar powered Jupiter space probe, was launched on this date in 2011.
Your coffee wants a mission plan written by Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody.
August 2
On this date in 2018, Apple Inc. became the first U.S. company to be valued at over $1 trillion.
Your coffee wants to iPhone it in.
August 1
Frank Herbert’s novel Dune was published on this date in 1965.
Your coffee wants to be brewed from stillsuit water.