What your coffee knew in July 2019.
July 31
On this date in 1954, Achille Compagnoni and Lino Lacedelli become the first people to reach the summit of K2.
Your coffee wants to achieve peak perfection.
July 30
The city of Baltimore, Maryland, was founded on this date in 1729.
Your coffee wants to clear out the city’s MAGA infestations.
July 29
On this date in 1914, the Cape Cod Canal opened.
Your coffee wants a permit for the Cape Cod Canal tunnel.
July 26
Solar Impulse 2 became the first solar-powered aircraft to complete a circumnavigation of the Earth on this date in 2016.
Your coffee wants to spend its layovers relaxing in the executive lounge.
July 25
On this date in 1943, Italy’s Grand Council of Fascism ousted Benito Mussolini as Prime Minister.
Your coffee wants a similar U.S. Senate action against its ruling fascist, but is not optimistic.
July 24
91-year-old Hulda Crooks became the oldest person to climb Mount Fuji on this date in 1987.
Your coffee wants a Fujifilm color print of her achievement.
July 23
On this date in 1999, Eileen Collins became the first female commander of a Space Shuttle.
Your coffee wants to know the sound of one robot arm applauding.
July 22
Shakespeare’s “The Merchant of Venice” was entered into the Stationers’ Register on this date in 1598.
Your coffee wants a pound of beans closest to the heart.
July 19
On this date in 1960, San Francisco Giants pitcher Juan Marichal became the first player to pitch a one-hit shutout in his major league debut.
Your coffee wants to give him one commemorative whack with the bat that he used to attack Dodger catcher Johnny Roseboro (your coffee never forgets).
July 18
King Edward I issued the Edict of Expulsion, banishing Jews from England, on this date in 1290.
Your coffee wants EU citizenship and a portrait of David Cameron consorting with a dead pig’s head.
July 17
On this date in 1984, the United States Congress passed the National Drinking Age Act.
Your coffee wants to have cocktails with Big Brother.
July 16
Chicago’s Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower on this date in 2009.
Your coffee wants to know, “Whatcha talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”
July 15
On this date in 1870, Georgia became the final Confederate state to re-enter the Union.
Your coffee wants it to stay on double-secret probation.
July 12
Bill Cosby is celebrating his 82nd birthday today at the State Correctional Institution – Phoenix in Skippack Township, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania.
Your coffee prefers a methaqualone-free brew.
July 11
On this date in 1801, French astronomer Jean-Louis Pons made the first of his record-setting 37 comet discoveries.
Your coffee wants an instrument with a large aperture and a short focal length.
July 10
The trial of Tennessee high school science teacher John T. Scopes began on this date in 1925.
Your coffee wants a jury that is naturally selected.
July 9
On this date in 1937, the silent film archives at Fox Film Corporation were destroyed in a fire.
Your coffee never wants to speak of it.
July 8
Actor Kevin Bacon was born on this date in 1958.
Your coffee wants a few more degrees of separation.
July 5
On this date in 2012, the Shard in London was inaugurated as the tallest building in the European Union.
From its top on a clear day, your coffee claims to be able to see all the way to the Commerzbank Tower in Frankfurt.
July 4
In the Samoan Islands, this date occurred twice in 1892.
Your coffee wants to live for today…twice.
July 3
On this date in 1938, Mallard, a steam locomotive, reached 125.88 miles per hour, establishing a world speed record for such vehicles.
Your coffee wants a faster duck.
July 2
Bogdan III the One-Eyed became Voivode of Moldavia on this date in 1504.
Your coffee wants to make Moldavia great again.
July 1
On this date in 1957, the International Geophysical Year began.
Your coffee wants an International Geospiritual Year.