What your coffee knew in April 2015.
April 30
On this date in 1927, the Federal Industrial Institution for Women, the first women’s federal prison in the United States, opened.
Your coffee was never served at Camp Cupcake.
April 29
Oldsmobile built its final car on this date in 2004.
Your coffee would really rather drive a Buick.
April 28
On this date in 1253, “Namu Myōhō Renge Kyō” was first propounded by the Japanese Buddhist monk Nichiren.
Your coffee is a gift from a flower.
April 27
NASA received the last successful telemetry transmission from the Pioneer 10 space probe on this date in 2002.
Your coffee wants to help V’ger find the Creator.
April 24
On this date in 1914, the Franck-Hertz experiment demonstrating the quantum nature of atoms was first described to the German Physical Society.
Your coffee provides a quantum of solace.
April 23
The Boston Latin School, the first public school in what is now the United States, was founded on this date in 1635.
Your coffee can’t wait until recessus.
April 22
On this date in 1977, General Telephone and Electronics sent the first live telephone traffic through fiber optics.
Your coffee wants to use a Bell Photophone.
April 21
According to tradition, Romulus founded the city of Rome on this date in 753 BCE.
Your coffee wants to be raised by wolves.
April 20
On this date in 1939, Billie Holiday recorded “Strange Fruit.”
Your coffee can think of myriad better ways to hang out.
April 17
The Three Hundred and Thirty Five Years’ War between the Netherlands and the Isles of Scilly ended on this date in 1986.
Your coffee wants a Cornish pasty and a promise of non-belligerence.
April 16
On this date in 1862, the Compensated Emancipation Act abolished slavery in the District of Columbia.
Your coffee wants to set you free — no compensation necessary.
April 15
Aer Lingus, the national airline of the Republic of Ireland, was founded on this date in 1936.
Your coffee wants to be served in the Gold Circle Lounge.
April 14
On this date in 1860, the first Pony Express rider arrived in San Francisco.
Your coffee wants a return receipt.
April 13
The New York City Metropolitan Museum of Art was founded on this date in 1870.
Your coffee wants Simnel cake at the Cloisters.
April 10
On this date in 1866, Henry Bergh founded The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) in New York City.
Your coffee is dedicated to the prevention of caffeine deprivation.
April 9
NASA announced the selection of its first seven astronauts on this date in 1959.
Your coffee is a liquid-fueled launch vehicle.
April 8
On this date in 1730, Shearith Israel, the first synagogue in New York City, was dedicated on Mill Street in lower Manhattan.
Your coffee wants a mill with ceramic burrs.
April 7
Roman Emperor Honorius banned the wearing of trousers on this date in 397.
Your coffee wants a utility toga.
April 6
On this date in 1974, ABBA won the Eurovision Song Contest for their song “Waterloo.”
Your coffee knows that its fate is to be with you.
April 3
The Osborne 1, the first successful portable computer, went on sale on this date in 1981.
Your coffee wants a Wordstar manual.
April 2
On this date in 1912, the RMS Titanic began its sea trials.
Your coffee tastes much better hot than iced.
April 1
Dr. Martens boots first became available for sale in Britain on this date in 1960.
Your coffee wants an air-cushioned sole.