What your coffee knew in February 2014.
February 28
Pope Benedict XVI of the Catholic Church resigned on this date in 2013.
Your coffee wants severance pay and accumulated vacation leave.
February 27
On this date in 1883, composer Oscar Hammerstein I, grandfather of the “Oklahoma!” lyricist, patented the first cigar-rolling machine.
Your coffee wants a culebra.
February 26
The Original Dixieland Jass Band recorded the first jazz record for the Victor Talking Machine Company on this date in 1917.
Your coffee wants to dance the one-step.
February 25
On this date in 1986, Southern Methodist University’s football program was the first such program to be banned from play for a year by the National Collegiate Athletic Association.
Your coffee denies it was paid for from a secret slush fund.
February 24
Cuba leased Guantánamo Bay to the United States for a naval base on this date in 1903.
Your coffee is adamantly opposed to the practice of latte-boarding.
February 21
On this date in 1925, the first issue of “The New Yorker” was published.
Your coffee is the talk of the town.
February 20
The United States Congress outlawed dueling in the District of Columbia on this date in 1839.
Your coffee wants seconds.
February 19
On this date in 1985, the Coca-Cola company introduced cherry Coke.
Your coffee started out as a cherry.
February 18
The first Church of Scientology opened in Los Angeles on this date in 1954.
Your coffee wants to free your thetan from your meat body.
February 17
On this date in 1621, Miles Standish was appointed as the first commander of the Plymouth colony.
Your coffee can go the distance.
February 14
Today is Valentine’s Day.
As always, your coffee loves you but is not in love with you.
February 13
Two manuscripts by Leonardo da Vinci that had been lost for 252 years were found in Madrid’s Biblioteca Nacional de España on this date in 1964.
Your coffee wants to be re-shelved.
February 12
On this date in 1999, the impeachment trial in the United States Senate of President William Clinton ended with his acquittal.
Your coffee will motivate you apolitically.
February 11
Glenn Miller received the first gold record on this date in 1942.
Your coffee is being served on track 29; can it give you a shine?
February 10
On this date in 1962, Roy Lichtenstein’s first solo art exhibition opened.
Your coffee uses Ben-Day dots to produce a deep brown hue.
February 7
The Beatles arrived in the United States on this date in 1964.
Your coffee loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.
February 6
On this date in 1959, Jack Kilby filed a patent application for “miniaturized electronic circuits”, known today as “integrated circuits.”
Your coffee wants to violate Moore’s Law.
February 5
Leo Baekeland announced the invention of Bakelite, the first synthetic plastic, at a meeting of the American Chemical Society on this date in 1909.
Your coffee looks good in a Bakelite mug.
February 4
On this date in 1789, the Electoral College unanimously elected George Washington as President of the United States.
Your coffee wants to talk to the College dean about a certain cherry tree incident.
February 3
The price of tulip bulbs in the Netherlands began a precipitous decline on this date in 1637.
Your coffee is heavily invested in bean futures.