What your coffee knew in August 2011.
August 31
Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin patented his Navigable Balloon on this date in 1895.
Your coffee wants a cup with a rigid metal alloy skeleton and an empennage of cruciform fins.
August 30
On this date in 1989, millionaire hotelier Leona Helmsley was convicted of tax evasion and mail fraud.
Your coffee is available via cell block room service.
August 29
U.S. Senator Strom Thurmond established a Senate filibuster record by speaking for twenty-four hours and eighteen minutes on this date in 1957.
Your coffee slept through it.
August 26
On this date in 1920, the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution took effect, giving women the right to vote.
A Susan B. Anthony dollar can buy a damn fine cup of coffee.
August 25
Galileo Galilei demonstrated his telescope to authorities in Venice on this date in 1609.
Your coffee deserves a much closer look.
August 24
On this date in 1967, Abbie Hoffman with a group of fellow activists threw dollar bills from the New York Stock Exchange’s viewing gallery, temporarily disrupting trading.
Your coffee likes a good stock tip.
August 23
Ballet dancer Alexander Godunov defected to the United States from the Soviet Union on this date in 1979.
Your coffee wants a pas de deux with Boris Badenov.
August 22
On this date in 1952, the French penal colony known as “Devil’s Island” was permanently closed.
Your coffee prefers a frosted beignet to a bagne de Cayenne.
August 19
Baseball managers John McGraw and Christy Matthewson were arrested for violating New York City’s blue laws by allowing their teams to play in a charity game on a Sunday on this date in 1917.
Your coffee wants to buy a car in Illinois on a Sunday.
August 18
On this date in 1958, Vladimir Nabokov’s novel, Lolita, was published in the United States.
Your coffee takes a trip of three steps down the palate.
August 17
The influential best-selling jazz album, Kind of Blue by Miles Davis, was released on this date in 1959.
Your coffee is kind of Blue Mountain.
August 16
On this date in 1954, the first issue of Sports Illustrated was published.
The swimsuit issue makes your coffee hot.
August 15
The Woodstock Music and Arts Festival opened in upstate New York on this date in 1969.
Your coffee is stardust, with golden overtones of billion-year-old carbon.
August 12
On this date in 1877, Thomas Edison made the first audio recording with his phonograph device.
Your coffee wants variable bit-rate psycho-acoustic compression.
August 11
Asaph Hall discovered Phobos and Deimos, the two moons of Mars, on this date in 1877.
Your coffee wants to gaze upon the moons of Barsoom with Dejah Thoris.
August 10
On this date in 1869, O.B. Brown received the first patent for a motion picture projector.
Your coffee depends on a phenomenon known as “persistence of flavor.”
August 9
Betty Boop was introduced in the cartoon “Dizzy Dishes” on this date in 1930.
Your coffee understands what it’s like to be really hot.
August 8
On this date in 1839, the Beta Theta Pi fraternity was founded in Ohio.
Your coffee enhances the flavor of every kind of pie.
August 5
At the intersection of Euclid Avenue and East 105th Street in Cleveland, Ohio, the first electric traffic light was installed on this date in 1914.
Your coffee is tired of explaining to Reverend Jim Ignatowski what a yellow light means.
August 4
On this date in 1987, the United States Federal Communications Commission rescinded the “Fairness Doctrine.”
Your coffee is an essential part of a fair and balanced breakfast.
August 3
The National Basketball Association was formed on this date in 1949.
Dribbling your coffee is considered a flagrant foul.
August 2
On this date in 1991, actress Hedy Lamarr was charged with shoplifting at a Florida drug store.
Your coffee offers a five-finger discount.
August 1
Henry Perky and William Ford received a patent for shredded wheat on this date in 1893.
Your coffee prefers its shredded wheat “the Canadian way.”