What your coffee knew in March 2011.
March 31
On this date in 1923, the first dance marathon in the United States was held in New York City.
Your coffee has an uncontrollable urge to tango!
March 30
The United States purchased Alaska from Russia on this date in 1867.
Your coffee can see Sarah Palin’s house from here.
March 29
On this date in 1974, Mariner 10 became the first space probe to fly by the planet Mercury.
Your coffee wants a 3:2 spin–orbit resonance.
March 28
Nathaniel Briggs of New Hampshire patented a washing machine on this date in 1797.
Your coffee wants a top-loading brewer.
March 25
On this date in 1954, RCA manufactured its first mass-produced color television set.
Your coffee wants to appear in rich, life-like browns.
March 24
Mac OS X version 10.0 was released on this date in 2001.
Your coffee wants to pre-emptively multibrew.
March 23
On this date in 1989, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischmann announced the discovery of cold nuclear fusion at the University of Utah.
Your coffee wants to announce the discovery of the bottomless coffee pot.
March 22
Arthur Leonard Schawlow and Charles Hard Townes received the first patent for a laser on this date in 1960.
Your coffee uses a laser for light roasting.
March 21
On this date in 1963, the penitentiary on Alcatraz Island in San Francisco Bay closed.
Your coffee wants to put a birdman on it.
March 18
Scott Paper began selling paper dresses for one dollar on this date in 1966.
Your coffee wants an absorbent chemise-style dress in a red paisley design.
March 17
On this date in 2009, the 800 millionth app was downloaded from the iTunes App Store.
Your coffee wants an iPad 2 with a Smart Cover.
March 16
The state of Mississippi formally ratified the 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution, which bans slavery, on this date in 1995—yes, 1995.
Your coffee today is hot, black, and free.
March 15
On this date in 2002, Burger King began selling a veggie burger.
Your coffee contains no meat or meat by-products.
March 14
Linux kernel version 1.0.0 was released on this date in 1994.
Your coffee GNU it when it was just a task switcher.
March 11
On this date in 1986, Popsicle announced that it was going to discontinue the traditional two-stick frozen pop.
Your coffee wants a single-stick Dreamsicle.
March 10
Today is Osama bin Laden’s birthday.
Your coffee somehow neglected to get him a present.
March 9
The first Ford Mustang rolled off of the assembly line in Dearborn, Michigan, on this date in 1964.
Your coffee wants a fastback 2+2.
March 8
On this date in 1010, Ferdowsi completed his Shāhnāmeh.
Your coffee prefers the original xvatāynamāk.
March 7
The United States Supreme Court on this date in 1994 ruled that commercial parodies can still qualify as protected fair use under copyright law.
Your coffee wants a compulsory mechanical license.
March 4
On this date in 1634, Samuel Cole opened the first tavern in Boston, Massachusetts.
Your coffee wants to go where everyone knows your name.
March 3
“The Star Spangled Banner” was adopted as the national anthem of the United States on this date in 1931.
Your coffee wants a long, rhetorical question set to music.
March 2
Today is the birthday of Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss.
Your coffee wants a red fish, but not a blue fish.
March 1
On this date in 1896, Henri Becquerel discovered radioactivity.
Your coffee wants a dosimeter.