What your coffee knew in December 2009.
December 31
Charles Darrow of Philadelphia patented the board game, “Monopoly,” on this date in 1935.
Your coffee has three houses and a café on Baltic Avenue.
December 30
On this date in 1924, astronomer Edwin Hubble announced the existence of other galaxies.
Your coffee regards that as a nebulous assertion.
December 29
A postage stamp honoring Bob Marley was issued in Jamaica on this day in 1982.
Your coffee cannot decide whether to lick it or smoke it.
December 28
In Japan on this day in 1308, the reign of Emperor Hanazono began.
Your coffee awaits the reign of Han Solo.
December 25
The Montgomery Ward retail store chain introduced the story of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer on this date in 1939.
Your coffee thinks Vixen is foxy.
December 24
On this date in 1990, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were married.
During the ceremony, your coffee kept its eyes wide shut.
December 23
United States President Gerald Ford signed the Metric Conversion Act on this date in 1975.
Your coffee is served in a 0.2365882365 liter container.
December 22
On this date in 1849, Fyodor Dostoevsky’s execution was halted at the last moment.
Take note: your coffee beans were under-ground today.
December 21
Today is the 327th birthday of the pirate Calico Jack.
Your coffee’s roger is particularly jolly today.
December 18
A giant panda first came to the United States on this date in 1936.
Your coffee eats, shoots, and leaves.
December 17
On this date in 1862, U.S. General Ulysses S. Grant issued General Order No. 11, ordering the expulsion of Jews from areas of Kentucky, Mississippi, and Tennessee.
Your coffee was almost expelled from Ulysses S. Grant High School in Van Nuys.
December 16
The first issue of Variety was published on this date in 1905.
Your Coffee Preems to Boffo B.O.!
December 15
On this date in 2000, the third and final reactor at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant was shut down.
Your coffee is still hot.
December 14
President George W. Bush narrowly avoided two shoes thrown at him by Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi on this date in 2008.
Your coffee appreciates the aim of a free press.
December 11
On this date in 1844, nitrous oxide was first used as an anesthetic in a dental procedure.
Your coffee still laughs about it.
December 10
Hugh Hefner published the first “Playboy” magazine on this date in 1953.
Your coffee only reads it for the articles—and the pictures.
December 9
On this date in 2000, the United States Supreme Court halted the Florida recount, effectively deciding the Presidential election in favor of George W. Bush.
Your coffee was filtered through a butterfly ballot made from recycled chad.
December 8
Los Angeles became the third-largest city in the United States on this date in 1953.
Your coffee is stuck in a traffic jam on the 405 South.
December 7
On this date in 1900, Max Planck discovered the law of black body radiation.
Your coffee is black, and radiates full-bodied flavor.
December 4
Led Zeppelin officially disbanded on this date in 1980.
Your coffee is taking the escalator to heaven.
December 3
On this date in 1973, the Pioneer 10 space probe transmitted the first close-up images of the planet Jupiter.
Your coffee avoids automated paparazzi.
December 2
Bill Gates donated $100 million to help immunize children in developing countries on this date in 1998.
Your coffee has an app for that.
December 1
On this date in 1960, Paul McCartney was arrested for attempted arson in Hamburg, Germany.
Your coffee enjoys a celebrity roast.